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Châtenay-Malabry (FR - 92290), 14 january 2012


EFITA newsletter / 591 - European Federation for Information Technology in Agriculture, Food and the Environment


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Contact: Guy WAKSMAN
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See: http://www.informatique-agricole.org/gazette/efita/efita_130114_591.htm


The archives of this newsletter

See: http://www.informatique-agricole.org/category/gazette-efita/


A thought for today
Humor is emotional chaos remembered in tranquility. - James THURBER, writer and cartoonist (1894-1961)


Definition of a Canadian
Read today on both sides of a tee-shirt, wore by a young man, in Brussels…
- Front of the tee-shirt: “Do you know the definition of a Canadian?”
- Back of the tee-shirt: “An unharmed American with healthcare.” (And unarmed! - GW)


Trains between Paris and Versailles (France)
See: http://www.english.rfi.fr/
visiting-france/20120516-louis-xiv-railway-carriages-take-paris-versailles-line


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Irish Presidency’s Environment Priorities - Phil Hogan, Irish Environment Minister
See: http://www.vieuws.eu/environment/phil-hogan-irish-minister-for-the-environment-community-and-local-government-on-the-irish-presidencys-environment-priorities/


Precision Farming experiences
See: http://www.youblisher.com/p/233200-AP-Conviene/


SPAA is a non-profit and independent membership based group formed in 2002 to promote the development and adoption of precision agriculture (PA) technologies
See: http://www.spaa.com.au


French PowerBoost (a Web TV channel dedicated to ag machines)
See: http://www.powerboost.info
Contact: Jean-Paul HÉBRARD
Email : jean-paul.hebrard(a)farmerstv.com


"On the Doorstep of the Information Age - Recent Adoption of Precision Agriculture", David Schimmelpfennig and Robert Ebel, August 2011, USDA
See: http://www.ers.usda.gov/media/81195/eib80_1_.pdf


"NaturNet+Redime" GIS project
See: http://gdi-sn.blogspot.fr/


A new frontier in Agronomy: Improve plant health and boost crop yield - Naturally
These PPFM bacteria increase the yields of many crops when applied to seeds and/or thru foliar application…
PPFM have already been successfully tested on the following crops: Corn, Barley, Rice
Soybeans, Sugar Cane, Vegetables, Cotton
NewLeaf Symbiotics expects that all row crops, vegetables, plants, fruits, and flowers may measurably benefit from the application of its patented PPFM technologies.
See: http://www.newleafsym.com/
See: http://m.bizjournals.com/stlouis/blog/BizNext/2013/01/newleaf-symbiotics-raises-7-million.html?r=full


Nestlé-Konzernchef Peter Brabeck (in German with translation in English)
See: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nTqvBhFVdvE&feature=youtu.be

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Puns for Educated(?) Minds

How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

Venison for dinner again?..........Oh, deer!

A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.

I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.

 I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.

Jokes about German sausages are the wurst.

I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

When chemists die, apparently they barium.

I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

Why were the Indians able to settle here first? They had reservations.

We're going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.

I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

When you get a bladder infection you know urine trouble.

Broken pencils are pretty much pointless.

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

I dropped out of the Communism class because of lousy Marx.

All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. As of now, it appears the police have nothing to go on.

I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

Velcro - what a rip off


How Moses got the 10 commandments! (old but funny joke)

God went to the Arabs and said, 'I have Commandments for you that will make your lives better.'

The Arabs asked, 'What are Commandments?'

And the Lord said, 'They are rules for living.' 'Can you give us an example?'

'Thou shall not kill.'

'Not kill? We're not interested.'


So He went to the Blacks and said, 'I have Commandments.'

The Blacks wanted an example, and the Lord said, 'Honor thy Father and Mother.'

'Father? We don't know who our fathers are. We're not interested.'


Then He went to the Mexicans and said, 'I have Commandments.'

The Mexicans also wanted an example, and the Lord said 'Thou shall not steal.'

'Not steal? We're not interested.'


Then He went to the French and said, 'I have Commandments.'

The French too wanted an example and the Lord said, 'Thou shall not commit adultery.'

'Sacre bleu!!! Not commit adultery? We're not interested.'


Finally, He went to the Jews and said, 'I have Commandments.'

'Commandments?' They said, 'How much are they?'

'They're free.'

'We'll take 10.'


There. That should piss off just about everybody.....


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