The archives of this newsletter
See: http://www.informatique-agricole.org/category/gazette-efita/


Jokes, Quotes and Anecdotes... an Anatomy of Wit
Mick Harkin, ex Secretary of EFITA, who has kept us amused with his Friday Jokes over the years, has published a book on Amazon entitled "Jokes, Quotes and Anecdotes... an Anatomy of Wit".
See: http://www.jokesquotesandanecdotes.com
Contact: Mick HARKIN
E-mail: harkin(a)iol.ie


The Truth
Remember to Save the Earth. It's the only planet with CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!


Call for papers: Ecological Informatics Journal (Elsevier)
See: http://www.journals.elsevier.com/ecological-informatics/

> Impact Factor: 1.961

> Special issue on "Information and Decision Support Systems for Agriculture and Environment"

> Paper submission deadline: November 30, 2013

> Guest editors:
Sandro Bimonte, Irstea , Clermont-Ferrand, France – sandro.bimonte(a)irstea.fr
Francois Pinet, Irstea , Clermont-Ferrand, France – francois.pinet(a)irstea.fr
Andre Miralles, Irstea, Montpellier, France – andre.miralles(a)irstea.fr
Frederic Flouvat, University of New Caledonia, New Caledonia – frederic.flouvat(a)univ-nc.nc

> Presentation
Monitor and manage sanitary risks, study climate change, environmental impacts of agricultural practices (the use of pesticides for example), the ecological status of rivers, simulate spread of forest fires, etc. are environmental and agricultural challenges for which information and decision support systems represent effective solutions. New theoretical and technical challenges emerge from the integration of several scientific domains such as agronomy, mathematics, information technology and computer science. The objective of the special issue is to show how the latest advances in research in information and decision-support systems can be applied to environmental and/or agricultural systems.

Topics of interest include, but are not limited to:

* Database, Data Warehouses
* Geographic Information Systems
* Cloud/Grid Computing
* Distributed information systems
* Interoperability between information systems
* Data Integration
* Knowledge management
* Big Data
* (Geo-)sensors network
* Software Engineering
* Data Mining
* Geovisualization

Agricultural and environmental applications (not limited to):

* Agricultural production
* Agricultural traceability and food safety
* Eco-technologies
* Environmental issues in rural and urban areas
* Forest fires
* Global climate change
* Impact assessments of agricultural and industrial activities
* Soil, air and water quality models
* Precision farming
* Risk assessments
* Modelling and simulation for environment and agriculture
* Water management

> Paper submission
The submission website for this journal is located at: http://ees.elsevier.com/ecoinf/default.asp.

To ensure that all manuscripts are correctly identified for inclusion into the special issue, it is important that authors select "Special Issue: Environmental DSS" when they reach the "Article Type" step in the submission process.

> Paper submission deadline: November 30, 2013
Contact : Francois PINET
E-mail: francois.pinet(a)irstea.fr


Aerial Precision Ag.
See: http://www.aparotors.com


Precision Agriculture in Brazil: Agrosystem of Brazil is new Topcon agriculture dealer
See: http://www.topconpositioning.com/news-events/news/company-news/agrosystem-brazil-new-topcon-agriculture-dealer


Advanced Reconnaissance Corp.
Advanced Reconnaissance Corp. is a world leader in the research, development, and production of advanced multispectral and hyperspectral sensor systems with real-time processing for intelligence, surveillance, and reconnaissance applications.
See: http://www.advrecon.com


AgriFuture Days (from PROGIS)
From 17th to 19th there took place the AgriFuture Days in Ossiach/Kärnten – an event where agriculturists, agribusiness persons, agriculture technologists and agro-ICT specialists from around the world met to discuss ways to meet the challenges of the agribusiness future. Alarming facts that the global food demand is forecasted to rise by 70% by 2050, while there is in parallel a slowdown in productivity growth and an increased pressure on the environment and the natural resources claim for innovative solutions, more stakeholder cooperation, a refining of political structures and the adoption of scientific innovation and ICT.

Very interesting key-notes delivered food for thought on e.g. Shumpeter’s rules of creative destruction to design a sustainable agriculture around the globe, or the challenges of transforming small-holder farming. Further, we heard about the challenges of bringing institutional and structural changes toward improved governance, or the challenges of empowering farmers politically, economically, socially and technologically, or the general uptake of ICT in agriculture. Also the challenges of CAP 2014+, control mechanism and the topic CO2 in agribusiness where on the agenda.

These and more topics where deepened in lively discussions during the single workshops. Software and technology presentations showed that there are very sophisticated developments on the marked already. Packed together and made accessible to all producing food, fodder, and biomass they provide very powerful and integrated solutions to achieve a sustainable and responsible agriculture respecting the earth’s ecosystems and providing health and well-being for the global population.

The conference could show that technology from PROGIS and its partners is available to support the agriculture worldwide. The time is right to implement on a country wide base and after a detailed evaluation of the needs of the country and the existing or missing structures in the frame of business models basing on better stakeholder cooperation, successful solutions. Many new countries used the AgriFuture Days to start negotiations with PROGIS and models for these countries will be worked out during the next few months.

In the evening “constructive chill-out” took place in the magnificent mountain landscape with lovely view to the Ossiacher Lake and in the Ossiach Abbey, a beautiful baroque style real restate. One of the main topics was to show an Austrian farmers' Cooperative and how this cooperative is not only producing agro- and forest-income but mainly working in landscape management, tourism, delivering of water on a long-term and due to afforestation activities also contributing to a reduction of natural risks. Therefore it is also interested in producing the so called “commons” based on a social responsibility on one side – this alone would be too less to survive – but also on income from the delivery of these commons. This is a model that can take place worldwide to engage farmers better into environmental caretaking and natural risk management – last but not least also this is a question of expertise and information management.
See: http://www.progis.com
Contact: Walter H. MAYER
E-Mail: office(a)progis.com

Inside Anglo: the secret recordings - Exclusive: Tapes reveal the lies and deception that led to the bank bailout (Bad Irish Joke?)
See: http://www.independent.ie/business/irish/inside-anglo-the-secret-recordings-29366837.html


Worldwide dating protocol (most traditional misogyny and nearly racism, but funny anyway)
>>> SCOTTISH WOMEN:
First Date: You both get blind drunk and have s_x.
Second Date: You both get blind drunk and have s_x.
20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk and have s_x.

>>> ENGLISH WOMEN:
First date: You get to kiss her goodnight.
Second date: You get to grope all over and make out a bit.
Third date: You get to have s_x but only when she wants to.

>>> ITALIAN WOMEN:
First Date: You take her to a play and an expensive restaurant.
Second Date: You meet her parents and her Mom makes spaghetti & meatballs.
Third Date: You have s_x, she wants to marry you & insists on a 3-carat ring.
5th Anniversary: You already have 5 kids together & hate the thought of having s_x.
6th Anniversary: You find yourself a Mistress.

>>> CHINESE WOMEN:
First date: You get to buy her an expensive dinner but nothing happens.
Second date: You buy her an even more expensive dinner. Nothing happens again.
Third date: You don't even get to the third date and you realize nothing is ever going to happen.

>>> INDIAN WOMEN:
First date: Meet her parents.
Second date: Set the date of the wedding.
Third date: Wedding night.

>>> SOUTH AFRICAN WOMEN:
First Date: You get to buy her a real expensive dinner.
Second Date: You get to buy her and her girlfriends a real expensive dinner.
Third Date: You get to pay her rent.
Tenth Date: She's pregnant by someone other than you.

>>> MEXICAN WOMEN:
First Date: You buy her an expensive dinner, get drunk on Tequila, and have s_x in the back of her car.
Second Date: She's pregnant.
Third Date: She moves in. One week later, her mother, father, her two sisters, her brother, all of their kids, her grandma, her sister's boyfriend and his three kids move in and you live on rice and beans for the rest of your life in your home that used to be nice, but now looks like a home along the Tijuana strip.

>>> JEWISH WOMEN:
First Date: You spend all your money to impress her.
Second Date: You take a loan to keep the image
Third Date: You're broke, she finds someone wealthier

>>> ARAB WOMEN:
First Date: Mother, Father, Brothers, Sisters, Cousins, Aunts, Uncles, Friends and entire community finds out.
Second Date: You are shot dead in the street and your balls are fed to the goats.
No third date:

>>> The POINT?
'DON'T YOU JUST LOVE SCOTTISH WOMEN?'


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