Châtenay-Malabry (FR - 92290), 4 January 2016


EFITA newsletter / 723 - European Federation for Information Technology in Agriculture, Food and the Environment



Happy New Year 2016 / Bonne année 2016 / Feliz año Nuevo / Gutes Jahr 2016


To correspond with me (GW), please use this address: guy.waksman(a)laposte.net


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Best wishes

Contact: Roger PAYNE
E-mail: roger.payne(a)vsni.co.uk

Meilleurs voeux 2016 / JOIE

Next Efita Congress 2 - 5 July 2017 Please, note these dates!

Montpellier - France at SupAgro Ag University See: https://www.supagro.fr/ See: http://www.agrotic.org/blog/ Contact : Jean-Pierre CHANET, Bruno TISSEYRE Mél : jean-pierre.chanet(a)irstea.fr, tisseyre(a)supagro.inra.fr

The curious case of high-speed internet use
A new study from the Pew Research Center shows that the in-home high-speed line may be on the decline. The change between 2013 and 2015 – a drop from 70% of households to 67% -the first time this number has declined.
See: http://farmindustrynews.com/blog/curious-case-high-speed-internet-use


"Best of": Zehn Jahre YouTube - das sind unsere Lieblingsvideos
Am Wochenende feiert YouTube den zehnten Geburtstag. Welche Highlights verstecken sich zwischen Katzen- und Pannenvideos? Hier verraten SPIEGEL-ONLINE-Kollegen ihre Lieblingsclips auf dem populärsten Videoportal der Welt.
Mehr als eine Milliarde Besucher pro Monat, 300 Stunden hochgeladenes Material pro Minute: YouTube, dessen Domain am Samstag vor zehn Jahren registriert wurde, hat sich zur populärsten Internet-Videoplattform entwickelt.
Sehen: http://www.spiegel.de/netzwelt/web/youtube-wird-10-jahre-alt-die-lieblingsvideos-der-redaktion-a-1017709.html

The latest from the BBC
Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike on Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to produce an agreement.

The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death would be cut next month from 72 to 54. A spokesman said increases in recent years in the number of suicide bombings has resulted in a shortage of virgins in the afterlife.

The suicide bombers' union, the British Organization of Occupational Martyrs (B.O.O.M.!) responded with a statement saying the move was unacceptable to its members and called for a strike vote. General Secretary Abdul Abul Bul Amir told the press, "Our members are literally working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We don't ask for much in return but to be treated like this is like a kick in the teeth".

Speaking from his shed in Tipton in the West Midlands, Al Qaeda chief executive Haisheet Mapants explained, "I sympathize with our workers concerns but Al Qaeda is simply not in a position to meet their demands. They are simply not accepting the realities of modern-day Jihad in a competitive marketplace. Thanks to Western depravity, there is now a chronic shortage of virgins in the afterlife. It's a straight choice between reducing expenditures or laying people off. I don't like cutting benefits but I'd hate to have to tell 3,000 of my staff that they won't be able to blow themselves up.

Spokespersons for the union in the North East of England, Ireland, Wales, New Zealand and the entire Australian continent stated that the change would not hurt their membership as there are no virgins in their areas anyway.

According to some industry sources, the recent drop in the number of suicide bombings has been attributed to the emergence of Scottish singing star, Susan Boyle. Many Muslim jihadists now know what a virgin looks like and have reconsidered their benefit package.

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Contact: Guy WAKSMAN
E-mail: guy.waksman(a)laposte.net


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See: http://www.informatique-agricole.org/gazette/efita/efita_160104_723.htm

The archives of this newsletter
See: http://www.informatique-agricole.org/category/gazette-efita/


Jokes, Quotes and Anecdotes... an Anatomy of Wit
Mick Harkin, ex Secretary of EFITA, who has kept us amused with his Friday Jokes over the years, has published a book on Amazon entitled "Jokes, Quotes and Anecdotes... an Anatomy of Wit".
See: http://www.jokesquotesandanecdotes.com
Contact: Mick HARKIN
E-mail: mickjharkin(a)gmail.com

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